simplicity

went to the chinese physician early morning. the fainting spell is still there. the road to recovery seems long.........................................

just after my lesson, i sat down in hq, and found myself greatly exhausted. everything seems to be spinning. i am too giddy to move. was supposed to collect some prints. but i cant move. too weak and afraid that i might just faint. and so, i sat there. contemplating to go home. and what mode of transport to take. its the rush hour, i wouldnt want to try the bus. the train ride have to walk quite a bit, and change to a bus again, and i dont feel safe walking alone when i am feeling weak. in the end, the cab fare cost me quite bit. erp, peak hour and all. sigh. going to doc tmr morning. i dont have to energy to do a lot of things. so dont get on my nerves pls.

there's something quite wrong with my body, i dont feel anything, but i know that it is certainly not usual. i've been to the doctor who told me to let it be. but it just doesnt feel like its going to get all right soon. and i am too busy to really worry about it. sigh. ok, if it isnt ok by this weekend, i am going to see another doc.

i wonder why a particular group doesnt reply to my emails.

its week 9 already. hallo.

ytd was quite hilarious. but i cant say that i wont be nervous when i am the one doing the visiting.

on the bus
me "how come ur orange is not the same size?!"
red "huh? really? i chose the most beautiful ones le... "
me "orh. yah very nice. its ok "
**like 40 mins later**
red "why didnt i pick orange of the same size?!! urghh"
me o.O hahhahaha aiyo.. its ok larh

red "does your dad have a lie detector at home? then he will ask me a lot of questions. and the lie detector will keep BEEP BEEP "
me "huh.. no la.. my house dont have lie detector. siao'"
red "maybe its for his pte use'
me "o.O siao larh you. "

red "i think ur mom will ask me abt my family.. what they do.. or about me ... "
me " hmm no larh. my mom will ask u to eat more. eat more. and my dad will ask you to come and play more often, when you leave"
red "huh really ah ?"
me "yah. you want to rehearse with me? Auntie, Uncle, Happy new year!"
red "AUNTIE UNCLE HAPPY NEW YEAR! JIKELONGDONG QIANGDONGQIANG! (and he begins to sing some chinese ny songs)
me "oh no ... u siao alrdy..."
red "lalalalalala"

In the end, i was right. Mom ask him to eat more. and BOTH asked him to come and play more often. =)

i had to eat fried rice this morning cuz of leftover food last night. too much food !!!! hahahahaha

Aftermath

me "mommy, how come you nv ask him a lot of questions?"
mom " huh.. dont want larh... ask too much, next time he dont dare to come visit and play."
me " HHHAHAHHAHAHHA aye. ok"

*p.s.

HAPPY 10 MONTHS RED !!!!!!!!!!!!!

so pai seh that i forgot 3 consecutive months. hahhhahahhaa.... but considering that i spam you daily, its compensation right? spam spam spam BOOM BA BA

the shirt that i bought with sl that says love when viewed in the mirror. it reads hate when viewed normally. cool hurz.acting cute.million dollar smile

yay.. relatives just left my house. quite happy to see the house filled with ppl. so cosy with everyone around. yay.

worked at turbo speeds to pour drinks and put food on the table. i think i did a great job. heh. cheers.

downing pineapple tarts and hei bee popiahs!!!

yah my nieces are getting prettier! youth itself is an asset!

somehow, as we grow older, the new year goodies doesnt taste that nice. and the festive mood aint there anymore. i didnt go chinatown this year, and working to the very last minute on the eve, that may explain my lack of celebration mood.

i certainly didnt enjoy going to .. nvm.. i think i shouldnt say it here. but i didnt enjoy going there for a long time.

nevertheless, i've enjoyed mommy's pineapple tarts. like usual. heh. this year, she let us (me rather) eat as much as we can! wheeee. so i pop abt 10 tarts per day, like i told hoon. heh. and today, i am poping those hei bee popiahs. its my fav!!! half a bottle gone in one day. serious.

just now, on chan u, there's a show with ren sian qi. about this smelly princess who is lonely, then the emperor asked for physcians to treat her. obviously, ren sian qi, found the formula, and the smelly princess is no longer smelly, and marries ren sian qi. yay.

smelly smelly smelly. wooo

i am so so jealous! all those pictures from exchange is making me jealous.

there's friends like 3 in france, 1 in turkey, 2 in ireland, 1 in us.

urghh i m so so jealous !!!!!! pout pout pout

maybe i shouldnt have given up exchange ... bullshit.

yayyyyyyyy super mario themed firefox!!!!!! so cute. all my scroll bars are the green tunnels. colorful yah.


IE BOOO !!!!

red gave me this smu gay blog add abt a week ago.

just ytd, i realised HE IS IN ONE OF MY CLASSES!!!

and 5 mins ago, i realised HIS LEAGUE OF FRIENDS INCLUDED SOMEONE I KNOW PERSONALLY.

its too personal. yuck.

he's straight. he's straight. he's straight.

reading my posts for this week, and i seem to be down on luck lately.

some indian tried to stroke my leg on the public bus ytd. luckily i was wearing pants, and he didnt touch my thigh. or else. he tried to lay his fingers on my lap. i was sleeping actually, cuz too tired. and when i woke, i saw his fingers on me. freak. i inch away. and his fingers came even closer! freak. if it was unintentional he would have realised i moved away, and quickly move his hand away. but he came even closer. freak. totally freak out. horrors! i moved away like for 3 4 times.

quickly alighted the bus after that.

super duper suay. freak. thank god that i was wearing pants and not a short skirt. and not his whole hand on my leg. but its disgusting enough already.

freaking sian.

valentine's day started at 2pm when i left home for school. wanted to grab a library book from school before i meet red for movie at cathay. i fell asleep on the bus and woke up in shock at chinatown area. hurried down the bus and took the train from clark quay back to doby. turns out that red is slightly late too. and we reach abt the same time. haha.

went to watch half nelson at picture house. the movie was too art farty. babel was alright. half nelson IS arty farty. wanted to sleep inside the theatre. yawn. since my sleep got interrupted on the bus.

after the show, went back to school for red's duty. usually the few of us sit around and play board games. for today, being valentine's day, something special happened. a guy brought his guitar along. dont know for what purpose. and the girl, us, asked him to sing for us. and there goes a 1 hr sing-a-long session at school. haha. not bad, huh.

went out for dinner. wanted to bring red for fish head soup. but its too crowded. ate somewhere else instead. will bring red there when it aint so crowded next time.

that's like the most "un-sweet" vday post out there, i bet.

i am here to bitch and whine. you can stop here if you dont wish to hear me complain.

i didnt have a good day yesterday. it is a first of my 3 yrs uni life that i forgot an assignment. i did my preparation weeks ago and i thought i just to copy down my answers nicely. i plan to wake up at 6am to do it. but i continue snoozing. and so, i skip a class to get my assignment done. to my horrors, there are some questions that i left out. super freak out. and i have only 4 hours. wy and ade was there in the room with me and they saw the super stressed me. they helped me do a part of my questions. so nice of them. really raelly. i love you both. muack.

before i can finish my assignment, i had a project meeting, and we went to meet the prof shortly after. i did let him know that i will hand up the assignment the next day. but he didnt mention if there will be any penalty. and so, i was telling ed and he was suggesting some reasons. thanks ed, but i didnt send the email in the end. i quite deserve penalty.

wonder if it is pms or the perfectionist in me that is driving the unhappiness to a ultimate level, i was bashing myself internally, and left freaking stupid.

after the proj meeting with prof, i rushed to attend citibank case challenge talk. on the way home, wy was talking to me to make sure that i wasnt too stressed by the work i have this week. thanks thanks. appreciate it. i think i was like withdrawn and super black faced. think i was pretty scary.

and so, today i had a 3rd workshop at a primary school. the teacher said i am better this time around. all is well. but there's an slightly unhappy incident though. cuz a teacher complained that i was too soft, ( when i am SCREAMING alrdy) the last time. so i swtiched to a smaller class this time round. when my fren told the class teacher that i am taking over him, he mentioned that he was louder, and i am softer, so let me take the class with few people.

the class has only 11 people. and when i started they said i was too soft. again. then i thought. no. i cant be too soft. it must be the preconceived notion that i was soft, as told by my friend. i felt quite pek chek. but ok, he slipped off his tongue. told him later to take note. like how ppl react to environment. shrug.

anyway, i went to buy lunch after that. ordered food and realised i didnt have enough cash with me. had to ask auntie for atm machine. auntie allowed to eat on credit. eat first and draw money later. and i was frantically pacing around for a uob atm machine. there's ocbc and posb but no uob !!!! i asked like 4/5 shops. some going in twice to get a UOB. not ocbc which i know is beside 7-11, or posb which i know has one opp the street, and one at ntuc. not ocbc and not posb. i want a bloody uob. and no , 7-11 has not do refund for cash card. my cash card has a 50$ value. and no, ntuc cannot deduct from bank and give u cash by hand, (even if u buy something).

it's like, fk, i am so bloody illquid. the hundred thousands of $$ i have at the bank cant buy me anything. i am not even asset rich. i am card rich. at that moment, i felt absolutely helpless. cuz its not intentional to get a free lunch, literally. and i want to pay them back, with my cards, which are worthless. i cant offer to wash plates, cuz they have enough manpower, and there aint that many dishes. i dont want to pay them the next time i have my workshop, cuz it will be 2 weeks later, and CNY will be here, and mommy says its not good to owe ppl thing, and s2condly, they wont remember me, and perhaps wont take in my $3.50 ? sigh. felt stupid.

then the ntuc auntie told me maybe uob can withdraw from ocbc, and ask me to look carefully.

yay. got logo. so means can withdraw. woot.

so i inserted my card. it bounced. ask me to check pin no. #$% . wrong no. again. @#$ i withdrew the card, in case i get the no wrong 3 times and card gets confiscated. then, i used my debit card.

debit card cannot use as atm card, ah?

anyway, MONEY DRAWN with my uob atm card.

i tired le. tired from typing.

MORALE OF STORY: POSSIBLE TO WITHDRAW FROM OCBC ATM USING UOB CARDS.

for this episode, i have to thank:

auntie who let me eat on credit
ntuc auntie who told me that ocbc maybe can withdraw
7-11 lady who told me where atms are
sewing shop auntie who told me there aint uob around
ntuc auntie 2 who reconfirm there is no uob around
mommy whom i called for moral advice, and said i was running too big a business that i cannot rem to bring money out, and nag a few more words cuz i didnt do my assignment yesterday.
stinky who called me to make sure i was ok
the ocbc atm machine

Hopefully, reading about my bad days makes ur day brighter. not having to go through so many ups and down in a days. haha.

******

ytd when i returned home, i rem i ask mommy not to cook for me, and i didnt eat outside. stressed as i am, i had to bathe, and go and buy food. i decided not to, and cook noodles. mommy came back from her evening walk, saw me cooking noodles, and offer to cook for me, and add in more sides dishes.

moi very touched.

mommy add in vege. 3 bunches. 1 crabstick. and pork slices. and 2 prawns. intestines removed.

moi touched touched.

and so, i was telling mommy when she was cooking that i didnt finish my assignment. and she say i was running a big business, busy everyday, that i dont have time to do proper work. she basically nagged about how forgetful i am, and that how i must take note of things.

and so, i hid at a corner of the kitchen, pulled my t-shirt to cover my eyes, and watch her move around the kitchen. curled up like a ball, and covered my face, shame shame on me.

later i went to bite my dad when he was watching tv. and he just let me bite him. and i took mommy hand and rest on my head.

at night, my bro borrowed my hair dryer to dry his smelly kenda gloves. my hair dryer is getting becuz of his smelly kendo gloves. he said my hair is smelly too, and it doesnt make a difference. and so, i put my hair on his face. hmph. smelly ur head larh, fatso.

wanted to take this chance, single or attached, to say happy valentine's to all. you are loved by me!

yoga is tough today. how can anyone touch their toes? i dont understand! even aunties can touch. i can only reach my shin at best. >< so embarrassing.

maybe my legs are too long.

ha !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nv0qi5cqeyU

unable to embed on my blog. u should see this.

FYI. my photo aj t-shirt is gone. sobs. its the one i am wearing inside. its my fav black tshirt. its my only black tshirt!! sobs sobbbbbbbbs. it flew away from the bamboo pole when mom hang it out to dry. it flew away with the pole..................................................

i have been whining abt what a busy semester i am having this time. busy busy busy !!!

ok, nevertheless i will enjoy it. it is my 2nd last semester afterall. then it is byebye to school alrdy.

it kinda calms my nerves that one of my proj mate is a slave driver.

she said: when i say i want things done, i mean it. so maybe u will be seeing my face a lot. haha
i replied: ok, if u dont find me, i go haunt u also. hahaha

yay. so this sem its that steep learning curve that counts. =) of course, if output can match its input that would be doubly great too.

the rest of the projs are wols. which is worrying. and i am holding the whip. *slap slap*

what scares me is indifference; i am not afraid of slave drivers. =)

****

red ask me to go find a girl after reading the last post that i want to be a lesbian. haha. thats becuz hoonie showed me a clip of jap theatre by all female artistes. i have fallen for Haruno Sumire. She is a He in my heart. very charming. drooool. i like. i like.

I'll never walk alone again, the winds of time are to strong.
Ah, it's that what you hurts, which you'll have to live with...
Ah, this tight embrace, and this burning, unchanged heart.
In this ever changing time, love will never change.

Will you hold my heart? Stop flowing tears.
Again, all of my heart is broken....

Forever love, forever dream
Only flowing emotions,bury this intense,
trying, meaningless times.
Oh tell me why ... all I see is blue in my heart.

Will you stay with me? Wait until after the wind passes,
all my tears are still flowing...

Forever love, forever dream Stay with me like this.
Hold my trembling heart in the dawn.
Oh stay with me...

Ah, everything good seems to be ending,
in this unending night.
Ah, what else would you lose if nothing at all matters.

Forever love, forever dream, stay with me like this.
Hold my trembling heart in the dawn.

Oh will you stay with me... Until the wind passes,
stay with me again.

Forever love, forever dream, I'll never walk this path.
Oh tell me why, tell me true, teach me how to live.
Forever love, forever dream, within flowing tears
Bright seasons will forever change again and again ....
forever love...


***

I want to be a lesbian. droooool !!!

bought 6 sushi at supermarket on the way home.

Too full for dinner. =S

feel like hugging everyone today.

hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

I lose the air and the ability to breathe it. I clench my eyes and i bite down and i squeeze the tennis balls and every cell of my body feels as it is going to explode from the force of the pain. if there was a God, I would spit in his face for subjecting me to this. If there was a Devil, I would sell my soul to make it end.If there was something Higher that control our individual fates, I would take my fate and shove it up its *ucking ass. Shove it hard and far, you *other*ucker.Please end. Please end. Please.

- A million Little pieces. James Freyer.

i regret not taking up a cca in yr 1.