simplicity

End.

But.

after squatting at my workplace for 6 weeks, i finally received my paycheck.

it's a hellish place. i was thinking of rewarding myself like a mp3 player. After two consecutive cheap ones died on me, i am saving up for a better one.

Today, i received my pay check. It is peanuts. Ok, wrong word just in case you're thinking abt golden peanuts. It is pittance. Because, my pay $6/hr is inclusive of CPF. After cpf is deducted, my takehome is sesame. but, i wonder why they didnt deduct cpf for last month.

sad lah, sad. I dont think I want to spend on a mp3 player alrdy. Let it sit in the bank and earn interest. Perhaps, then it would grow from a sesame seed into a sunflower seed.

Sad lah, sad.

Pls contribute to shuMie mp3 player fund. Even 10cents will go a long way.

heard a shocking piece of news. Jaw dropped literally. Now, i know, that ppl are not joking when they use that term.

Very surprised. and suddenly, do not know what to do.

then, i realised, silence is the most appropriate. in any case, i am quite sure he is appreciative of it too.

i shall not speculate. (although, i know my mind will. but, i shall keep that to myself.)

Offering a cuppa milo.

My bro is looking for a good veg restnt. He's planning to give his prof a treat. His prof is Indian, btw. It will awesome if it serves Indian cusine.

Pls let me know if u have places to recommend.

And earn yourself an outing with me ( under reservation booking, and not priority booking) and a cuppa milo from me.

Thanks a lot ! =)

shuMie.: auntie
shuMie.: auntie
H: omg
H: siao
shuMie..: it's time to face the truth.
shuMie..: although sometimes truth hurts
H: T,T
shuMie..: auntie
H: i dun want to talk to u le
H: sad
shuMie: sorry
shuMie: okok, i dont bully u le
H: sad
shuMie..: sorry auntie
H: cries
H: wails
H: weeps
H: shrieks
shuMie..: okok
shuMie..: xiao mei mei
shuMie..: hallo.
shuMie..: call u auntie such a big response.
shuMie..: then xiao mei mei. no response.
shuMie..: knock knock
H: this is an automated message: you are being ignored
shuMie..: wah
shuMie..: u typed out ah
shuMie..: dont copy and paste lah
H: this is an automated message: you are being ignored
shuMie..: come lah
shuMie..: talk to me lah
shuMie..: xiao mei mei
shuMie..: come come
H: this is an automated message: my mother told me not to talk to strangers
shuMie..: O.O

Be kind. Let's kill without drawing blood.

perhaps, it is because i am a perfectionist. but, i get icky feelings when i dont get things my way.

The heart leaps at the joy of being accepted.

Friends are the ppl u ( purposely call out) to meet during holidays.

How can you, a human bean, look forward without concerns of the past? I can't.

"Sing to me; the song of the stars"

As you know, I am a milo freak. I survive daily on a minimum of a cup of milo. The most I took in a day was 4 to 5 cups.

Last night, I had a strange dream. I dreamt that I was making a cup of milo for myself.

But by accident or absolute blurness, I put the milk into the powder can. So, i had a lot of milo mixture. I cant possibly drink all the milo from the can. Er, maybe I can.. but still...

Any interpretations for this dream of mine?

I seldom dream. So, every dream is significant to me. Anyone to come up with 4 digits?

Friend: How is Red? Long time nv see him alrdy.
me: huh.. red ah.. he's alive and kicking lor.
Friend: O.o hahaha

*****

During a meeting,
Acquaintance 1: So, which sch are u from?
me: ( it's a smu meeting. Shouldnt everyone be from SMU?) erh.. from NTU
Acquaintance 1: wah.. you in NTU and u are helping with SMU stuff ah?
me: yup. fun wat.

Today,
Acquaintance 1: hey, u from NTU right?
me: (puzzled. Hasnt he figured out yet?) Yup. NTU
Acquaintance 1: When does NTU start school?
me: eh.. august.
Acquaintance 1: I thought NTU start in July last year?
me: erh... huh.. isit.. forget alrdy. we start in early august. First week, I think.
Acquaintance 1: heh heh. we start 3rd week.
me: yah lah. i know. Sharddup.

Perhaps, he knows alrdy. Just testing my response. bleh. We will know soon.

All that I want to say is in the title.

Not in the blogging mood. Pardon me.

When the waves fades away from the beaches, it brings grains of sand with it. Things have gone into passing, What do you think now?

All that I want to say is in the title.

Not in the blogging mood. Pardon me.

When the waves fades away from the beaches, it brings grains of sand with it. Things have gone into passing, What do you think now?

Shopping with mom

me: eh mi, y u dont want to look at clothes? You are weird.
mom: I dont like this kind of clothes. I wear sexy clothes.
me: O.o
mom: I like those with sequins.
me: (That is called auntish not sexy larh!) HAHAHAHA

Just feel like posting a big ass picture of myself. -shrug- 

At a dinner gathering with relatives.

Relative: wah, ur daughter has put on weight.
my mom: yah. she's fat.
me: wey. This is not fat. This is HOK KEE ! (wealth)
my mom: haha. u see her arms so fat.
me: wey. I say liao. Not fat, ok? It's HOK KEE !
Relative: HAHAHA

Last dish is my favorite. Kong Ba Bao. Fatty meat with bun.

my mom: hey, last piece. Finish it.
me: dont want. I got a lot of HOK KEE alrdy.
relative: HAHAHAHA

nothing much to say. Saying hi to those who happen to check my blog.

I am free spirited. I like to travel. The different sights and sounds outside of Singapore makes me awake. It satisfies my curiousity abt the world outside. I hope to leave my footprints around the globe.But, deep down, I know it's quite impossible. It's difficult to make a weekend trip overseas. Needless to say, a world tour. Its not the problem of looking for company, or costs. There are other responsibilties back in Sg.

Life stories. I've heard and read a couple of them. When I was a teenager, (I've accepted the fact that I am a YOUNG adult now), I thought that boring life stories are sad. Lives should be exciting. Everyone has that one chance at life. That 100 years. Once. I wondered why would anyone settle for less than what life can offer them?

Some life stories begun with grandeur. They have big dreams and aspirations. A few years into the workforce, they settled into the shoes of others. No longer dreaming. They spent the next 30 years sticking to a job. I used to think that was sad. I wonder if they would have been that same choices; giving up their dreams and spend 30 years on what they dont want to do.

Recently, a few months back, I heard the life story of my dad. I knew his story before that. But this time, he shared with me his plans. He told me his plans for every step of the way. Why he chose to this instead of that.

And I realised that boring lives are not sad lives. They have simply shelved their dreams to do something they deemed more important. Family. They are noble people. Like my dad. After giving to what they deem important, they will think abt themselves. They didnot place themselves on the 1st priority.

I come from humble beginnings. And, I think it did me good.

I like to travel. And, I still will. Unless situation permits.

I guess, I am no longer that wilful girl I used to be.

I am happy; because you are happy.

last day at work is this friday. Looking forward to it. It's coming. I can feel it. But, it has been a long wait. Days becoming months. Waiting for the last day.

red coming back next week. hope he takes a lot of photos for me to see. Days becoming months.

btw, hoon has diligently (takes a lot of effort) to replicate my Langkawi post onto her site. heh heh.
maybe, if it spreads far and wide to some resorts in Langkawi, they would offer us a stay? Or perhaps, Sentosa give me some free passes or sth?

Wishful, hopeful thinking. Nevertheless, happy thoughts.


come up close, Lemme whisper it in your ear, this very secret that u need to know. It need not be loud, it need not be powerful, but it says all that i want you to know.

Hey twin. ur internet down izit? sheesh. if ur internet down. u wont be able to see this. haha. blur me. ok. i send msg to u. hahaha.

i hate myself.

what a bitch.

minus summer school. minus work. minus time being sick. minus time reading at home. minus time in town. I get zero.

sucks.

i hate myself.

you have absolutely no idea how glad i am to see ur msg. you are so silly.


d Today, a new HR exec came to office. Around early 40s. She came with the bunch of us to lunch.

She speaks with an accent. my colleague asked her if she is sgrean. She is. Just that she is overseas for a long time.

She stayed in Jamaica, Indo, KL for 20 over years? She followed her husband around. she been in sg for 5 yrs. Back with the kids. It drew gasps of admiration that she travelled to such exotic places. Her husband is an expat. the last house was in Indo. Where she left in a golf course. The house right smack at the centre of golf course. Imagine the view.

She's with 2 kids. Both teenagers.

Then she mentioned that she is a single mom.

Eyes dropped to the table.

Her eldest daughter is taking a break from school for a yr. Suffering from depression due to the spilt marriage. The son cant speak to the grandparents.

Gone are the beautiful days.

She wakes up every morning to play golf. Rich tai-tai.

Now, back to singapore. without the luxury, with 2 kids to bring up.

Big change.

"This is really a big change for me," she kept repeating.

She's been back for 5 yrs.

如果我爱上 你的笑容
要怎么收藏 要怎么拥有

The title pretty much says it all.

It's the differences between us that make us special and unique. There aint need to feel apologetic for you being you. there are times you decide not to go with the crowd becuz things dont exactly agree with you. It's ok. we all have our differences. It's our similarities that bonds us together, and not our differences. So, we should appreciate the similarities. It is what makes us closer.

I've got a fren who wakes up 10 mins before he leaves the house. I've got another who wakes up 1.5 hr before she leaves the house. I, myself, wake up about 45 mins before I leave the house. That includes flipping through the newspapers and breakfast.

I've got a fren who spends 1 hour bathing. My dad never spends more than 15 mins in the bathroom ( shampooing time included). Personally, i spend like 15 mins showering; another 10 mins shampooing.

I eat all the time. My fren doesnt eat anything after 8. Another cannot stop herself from putting food inside her mouth. ( this friend is worrying right now cuz she hasnt felt hungry these few days)

Some of my friends have a extensive dictionary for vulgarities. Others have limited vocab, stopping at the use of " idiot. stupid. crazy". Me? erh.. i dont use vulgarities. i just have a more expressive form of speech.

A couple of my frenz are very ladylike. There wasnt a time when they laugh loudly, talk loudly, spit in public, or walk noisily across the hallway. I, sadly, laugh like no one is watching, swear in public, and wear my heart on my sleeve. Honestly, I admire my ladylike friends. They are my idols. They are doing something I cant do.


Me and my fren grab every opportunity to go overseas. Him more than me, actually. We, being the daredevils, say the world is our home and say the day is ours to make. We would eventually see the world someday. I've got friends who are relunctant to leave this sunny island. Other places are not as safe as home.

Some girls love fantasies. Romance, or Superheros. I think romance novels are repetitive, boring and gives a sense of delusion. What happens in books are fiction. They dont happen in real life. It gives girls false hope, false imagery about love.

Red eats everything on his plate. Some of my frenz dont take spicy food. Some love chilli. Me?

I hate peas. I love green chilli, and hate red ones. I take out the insides of sliced green chilli. I dont like cheese but love melted cheese. I eat sushi but not raw ones. I hate parsley. I like tou hwa but dislike toufu. I like egged toufu and dislike those rectangular ones. I eat veggies but avoid the stems. For yong tou foo, i order bee hoon mee with xiao bei cai, egg, seaweed, 2 pieces of wu xiang, 1 daupok, 1 fried toufu fishcake, 1 random item.

See it? It's difficult to find someone exactly the same as us.

At the end of the day, we need to realise it is our likeness that is important. Not the differences.

Respect each other differences. And you shall live.

Thus, there is no need to feel sorry for making up your own mind about things.

To each his own. Love them for who they are. Hate them for who they become. Love and hate is a thin line.

words escape me for quite some time. it is like the carpet pulled beneath me. I've lost touch with Words.

I stutter, mumble and stumble when I talk. Or write. Or even think.

It's like a void. Emptiness. It scares me.

please be patient when u talk to me. i need time to formulate my thots.

( tired. and heading to bed. sorry if i sound illogical )

there are always people in our lives.

Some we love. Some love us.
Some we hate. Some hate us.

And others whom we love and hate.

I am not going to say which group is the most important. cuz, inevitably, all of them are. They have a part to play in moulding us.

I am just so curious about a particular grp. The grp whom we love and hate at the same time.

Love because you simply cant stop yourself from liking.

Hate because the person made you show a part of yourself you have never shown to others. Not even yourself. This person simply has the magical touch, heavens-sent, to make you come exposed. Naked. In the open air. Open to scrutiny. Vulnerable.

Yet, in a most carefree like laugh, with a shrug of the shoulder, he wraps you in a blanket, assuring that everything is fine.

The thoughts that run through them runs through us too.

We love them. Cuz they have the magical power to see through us.
We hate them. Cuz they speak for the weaker ( but sometimes correct) voice in you.

goodnite.

counting down. last day at work is next fri.

the whole place is in a mess. terrible. worst place i've worked for.

no one knows what is happening. terribly understaffed.

ridiculous to have outsiders knowing more about transactions that the staff. simply ridiculous. no excuses. no reasons. plain ridiculous.

Tv serial

Kid runs to mommy and hugs her on the waist

kid: mummy, i love you.
mom: i love you too.

Real life
me: mummy, i love you.
Mom: mai kong woo kong boh. ( dont talk rot)
me: O.0


p.s. in case you are wondering, i told mommy about the scene from the tv serial and asked her why she didnt say she love me too. She shook her head gently, and told me she's asian. Love in the heart, no need to say out.

mommy loves me, all the same.

heh heh

"why you like him?"

"huh? like who?"

"xiao qiang"

"huh. such things got why one meh? like means like"

"but why u like lah. is it some special characteristic?"

"erh... why do like Him then? ... he's uncouth. rude. unromantic. so ugly. and stingy."

"he's not like this last time."

"really? why do u like him then?"

*long pause* "he wooed me for a very long time"

"... erh.. ok.. heart knows reason that reasons knows not of"

i've been wanting to go overseas for holiday.

ive got this dream. to go overseas every hols. it can be msia. or alaska. the distance doesnot matter. i just want a chop on my passport. smu life is really hectic. and i deserve a good break. not extravagant ones. a simple one. to the beach or sth. will do. i like to travel. so, overseas trip can really be the carrot on the stick for me when i am putting through shitloads in school.

It is.

and it dampens my spirits when I've finally got the time. but still stuck on this sunny island.

Is it so difficult to head overseas?

i am no spoilt brat.

but i really do want a holiday.

sazzie. where are u. go holiday!! =(

realised once again that parental love is unconditional. and that is what makes it great. i've been really moody these few days. short-tempered. angry. and frustrated. guess who got the most of it?

friends dont get to see it cuz i've not been meeting u guys. workplace. i walk around with a sulk. so i guess, i am pretty much avoided by colleagues. red. i dont meet him. and avoiding unnecessary contact. i dont want to pick a fight.

family got it bad.

I am unhappy. and i make it known.

Family will always be here. for me to fall back on.