simplicity

the reason why i dread school is because i dont need another confidence defeating semester. I aint got much confidence left to drain.

In any case, I have 4 days to school reopening, and it just feels like something gloomy hanging over the air. To show my lack of concern for the school term, my table is still in quite a mess, and i've arranged for a drinking session on the very first day of school.

La viva Vodka !

Before some of you complain that I complain too much, i will tell u that i am changing phone soon! It's finally 21 months for my phone plan, and I can go for a phone upgrade.

I've been sneaking around asking ppl, " Sony Eri*sson, Sam*ung, or Motor*ola ?"

Ppl shake their heads (almost) violently to Sam*ung, and shakes of disapproval for Motor*ola.

And, for the last option, nokia, i am really not that keen.

Lo and Behold, I am going for SE k800. yah yah, it's a bit expensive. half of my intern allowance actually, and it hurts and pocket. But, i wouldnt resist the design ! the functions ! and the camera ! 3,2 pix !! especially since i like cam whore. haha.

now, i m sorta on the impulse to get it. But, i figured i will wait a few more days for the holiday season to go ? Should i?

my parents are complaining that i m hogging the spare phone for too long. they want to use it.

yikes.

school is starting. and i dread it. i hate school. School is disgusting.

*stamps feet*

really sick and tired of school. i was hoping, and really searching for a 6mth internship to get away from school this semester. The previous semester isnt good at all, although i did put in efforts in studying. It seems that my results are always poor even when i do study. I am getting discouraged. After 3 years of uni, almost 17 years of education, self encouragement doesnt work anymore. I am really tired of school. Putting in efforts and not seeing results is discouraging. 'To seek, not to yield.' If only, i can hold that to the truest of words.

like what my colleague says, "die alrdy, larh."

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

feeling despondent.

sian.

can i blame it on the weather?

Your Existing Situation

Exercises initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. Either holds, or wishes to achieve, a position of authority in which control can be exerted over events.

Your Stress Sources

An existing situation or relationship is unsatisfactory, but she feels unable to change it to bring about the sense of belonging which she needs. Unwilling to expose her vulnerability, she therefore continues to resist this state of affairs, but feels dependent on the attachment. This not only depresses her. but makes her irritable and impatient, producing considerable restlessness and the urge to get away from the situation, either actually or, at least, mentally. Ability to concentrate may suffer.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Insists that her hopes and ideas are realistic, but need reassurance and encouragement. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.

Feels that things stand in her way, that circumstances are forcing her to compromise and forgo some pleasures for the time being.

Your Desired Objective

Desires protection against anything which might exhaust or tire her. Seeks a life of security and physical ease, free from any problem or disturbance.

Your Actual Problem

Anxiety and restless dissatisfaction, either with circumstances or with unfulfilled emotional requirements, have produced tension and stress. Her attempt to escape from these consists of creating at least an outward semblance of peace by refusing to allow herself to be involved.

It's true. if only solutions come with the analysis......

I remember 2 years ago, the bunch of us wondering around Prinsep area. No, school was still in BT then, if my brain is right.

We were wondering around Prinsep, and thinking of where to go. And, and through the windows we saw female lingerie on a guy ! Some hilarious forfeit in a group party. The bunch of us staring, looking, and wanting to look away. Ha.

thanks to you. I've thought less of the past this december.

http://taximansingapore.blogspot.com

An English expat in Singapore.

Can't run away from our taxi uncles. haha.

it's a nice surprise. I suppose, the newspaper is to hide the item inside.

kiss.

ours' never a goodbye. says:
from the sea of course! just that during this season, the land retains heat longer so the resulting difference in pressure results in the clouds making landfall! i think.
anyway, sleep!

ever the person to give a serious answer to a light hearted question.

the msn pic tells me something. Same things never change, even if they flicker at times. Sachi, sachi, sachi. you are in love with sachi. now and forrreeeevvvveerrrrr.


anyway, i am a happy girl right now. went with red to get our christmas presents just now. Happily shopping. got him a nice bag. Hope it will last. We plan in advance for the presents, so that we wouldnt be loading ourselves on christmas eve. =) anyway, no plans yet for christmas eve. everywhere so crowded. yucks. what to do. what to do. suggestions pls.

happy 8th month, red. Love you~

it's still pouring dinosaurs outside. i've got to bring a huge umbrella, and wear a more slip-proof shoe to work. i didnt slip =)

At work, had a meeting in the afternoon with a staff. It's like the most learning done during these few weeks. I really didnt learn anything before today. So, it's good that i was beside to listen. Although 70% os the terms slip pass me by. policies, CPF, cash, premium are in my most used words. The staff came late at ard 5pm and i left office at 7. Was supposed to head home immediately for mommy's bdae dinner. opps. lucky, i made a call at around 6, when i realised that i def wont be in time.

surprised to see 2 msgs, and 3 missed calls from stinky. i miss stinky too.

made a beeline for the trains, and got to eat dinner fast. bought muffins for parents too. they are not as nice as those in tg pagar, but not bad alrdy. if stinky wants, i can get some for u too. u want ?

i tired alrdy. work is draining. time passed too slowly.

fall out. sleep.

i just finished my dinner 40 mins ago, and i am feeling hungry alrdy.

I want to cook noodles to eat.

我的胃大如宇宙。

roar.

It's been pouring since morning. A slight drizzle now and then, and towards the evening, it becamea full blown monsoon rain. Yikes. raining elephants. Adding on yesterday, it has been raining for 2 days. A hassle to go anywhere.

my mom is nagging incessantly about something for days !! It's so small, i dont think it even needs mention. But apparently, she thinks it is really worthy of mention to keep repeating it. And, it gets on my nerves. Irritated.

Anyway, I wanted to meet my aunt for lunch, but nv got ard to doing it. Cuz, i was badly sick and dillying around. But she msged, and i will passing some things for her tmr. yay.

happy to meet red for lunch today. *big smile* we settled our christmas present for each other. and, it is all geeky, practical stuff. which is a good, since it will be really useful, and lasting. but but but. heh. i am making red do something. heh heh. shant disclose it now. I give discount alrdy k, red? hee. so do ur best ! hahaha.

countdown to last day at work : 8 more days.
% completion: 10% (subject to review, say, if my colleague wants me to change certain things.

With the heavy rain, and little sun, my mood goes in the same direction too. yikes. thanks to red, for being nice.

uber sian.

student tix for phantom sold out! I called on Friday. There's no release of student tix. I called on just now. ANd it's all GONE. WITHIN ONE DAY.

why didnt i check yesterday !! WHY . WHY . WHY .

uber sian.

grrrrr. sobs.

he's still the same. Jolly, friendly and extroverted guy. Same elmo smile.

It's nice to see so many ppl you lost contact with. Although, not many ppl went, the company is still enjoyable. And, the girls have become swans, and the guys are still childish, and look the same.

I am truly glad that i went. Really glad.

there are doubts if ppl will be going and such, and put their decision with a good friend. These cases end up all friends not going. It only takes one to show interest and the rest will follow. At least, that is what I think.

There's some unhappiness regarding a group of ppl, which i feel is a blown up issue. and totally out of proportions as it is. Live, and let live. That seems to be my motto. I do hate politics. And, i want no part in it. Both sides are in the wrong. And, I shant comment any further. One must remember, what comes around, goes around. If you short change someone, you will find the path ahead rocky.

i am not a sweet girl. I am chor, and unruly. I am intrinsically an ah lian. That's why red is more like a buddy.

This week is busy for me.

Sat going to fren's 21 party,
sun cycling with xiaoguas.
Mon spend time with mommy.
Tues mommy's birthday.
wed outing with kiddo (?).
Friday company christmas party,
siao eh's 'engagement party'
Sat/sun sentosa with red.

And then, school starts.

I feel bad. On sunday, there is a YEP gathering and one birthday party. On MOnday, there's another bdae party. And, i'm decided not to go. Partly, cuz i've been sick for quite long, want to get well fast, and eat home cooked home. Partly, cuz it's draining to go out. Lastly, cuz there are ppl i will feel weird meeting.

i feel bad.

i think i m domesticated. I like to sleep at home. Lie on my bed.

after getting sore throat for like a week, i finally went to see the doc.

4 types of medicine for sore throat. anitboitics, 1 anti allergy, 1 for phlegm, 1 lozenges.

That serious ?! i dont mind the lozenges. It's black current flavor. yay.

col: eh how ? very sian rite.
me: hmm *nodsnods*
col: dont worry, tmr the guy sitting beside u will be back.
me: hm ? *maybe can share my load of work*
col: yah.. he like to talk. can talk to you.
me: huh.
col: i see that u have been doing work all day. Quite boring rite?
me: *hopes dashed*

red: stand there, stand there. I take picture of you.
me: dont want. i dont want.
red: huh why?
me: because i shy.
red: O.O GO LARH.
me: i really shy.
red: rubbish. *push*

*Big smile*

Before I forget, the last day of exams. Met piggy 1 for shopping after my last paper. =)

me: eh. why u wear T-shirt and capris? When you go out with your friends, you will dress up one. How come today, when you are coming out with me, you are wearing a Tshirt? Hur hur hur. I not your friend isit?
piggy: ..... you just finished a paper. i know you wont dress up. So, i must compliment you.
me: hur hur hur. what you mean. You say, i dont dress up at all ?
piggy: .. WOMEN !! If i dress up, you will say, "Why you dress so nice? I just end exams. Where got time to dress up nice?" and you will be unhappy. So, i dont dress up. And you say, "How come i dress up with other friends and not with you". the same thing happens; you are still unhappy.
piggy: WOMEN ARE HARD TO PACIFY !!
me : erh.. thats true.
piggy: ah. see larh. Women are difficult creatures.
me: hahahhahaha yah lor.
piggy: poor red.
me: WEY !!

col: eh, u are the quiet type right? I keep talking to you. And, u just reply. You dont ask me anything.
me: hmmm ok la.
col: Everytime talk to you, u always "orh".
me: hmmm... orh.. O.o .. hahahhaha
col: aye.. u quiet larh.
me: *shy to talk cock only lor.*

started work this week. right after exams. Transitional period for the dept due to new standards and all. We Interns are the Sai Kang Warriors to clear backlogs, and supplement manpower. At least on my side.

at least, the ppl are kind. and the management knows their stuff; keen to help to their best ability. and not only delegate duties. this is all good to the truest of words.

oh yah. one incident to bring up.

me and col: how do u do this ?

indian guy : eh.. not sure leh. Ask the chinese lady.
Chinese lady: eh.. not sure leh.. I just compile. U ask boss.
Boss: hmm ok.. Have u asked Chinese lady yet? Let her help you. Cuz she did it.

Chinese lady tell us all that she knows.

Chinese lady: Actually, i just compile all this information. HOw this number comes about, the best person is to ask the Indian Guy.
me and col: *looks at each other*

me: this doc verified by Indian guy. How come he not sure?
col: ....
me: i know! HAHAHAHA. win liao. anyhow sign.
col: haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

below the covers.

if u want to find me, u would know where to find.

Seeking solace..

i know who.
but where is.
will be able to help.
i know who cant.
no point saying
to one who.

"they never go away, do they?"
" i dont think so. I always imagine hairy monsters hiding in the trees"

in the midst of it all.

a different one came into mind. different. one .

itunes is playing a downloaded version of Michael Jackson's " The way you make me feel "

i need faith.

hope everything will turn out fine.

you cant stay angry for long.