simplicity

prof: how come u guys dont laugh at my jokes?
class: *thinks* cuz they are super lame. Really not funny.
student 1: got la. we laugh at the second one.
prof: o.0
class: HAHAHHAA
me: prof kenna bang by student.
piggy: F for participation liao

and the whole row with me roared * ROARED* in laughter.

was reading blog posts among friends. Some are light readings. ( rather like mine) Other are updates on life. The rest are whiny posts.

Particularly one hit me because of it sordid intensity. That is someone my age, dealing with things i do not need to deal with. It hit me with disbelief. Nevertheless, admire her for the courage and bravery for taking such a huge step forward. But, i dont that is wise though.

And i was thinking abt the range of complexities that life deals us with. Some have smaller problems than others. they have easier solutions, a more comfortable life. Others have to fight for every grime. *shrug* Life is great. sometimes, it deals us shit.

anyway, i do wish for world peace. and everyone to be living in a happy world. and everyone being happy. it's a lala land thought. nevertheless, enticing.

p.s. thanks thanks to monster twin who fork out time today. =) thanks thanks for the bracelet. it plucks my wrist hair off sometimes though. but preeeeety. like me. =)

was looking discussion forum from sch. and like, freak. wth. pure madness. ppl quote the FRS. do practice questions like mad. meet prof for hours. omgomgomgomgomg. wat a rat race.

how can i say i m not participating in this rat race. when, i m in it ?

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

grass on the other side is always greener.

still adorable though.

pai seh to all the ppl i talked to last night on msn. i was away. but really i was slping.

tired cuz it is after the pptn. =)

took nap instead of whole night sleep cuz later got test. =(

but too tired that i didnt put alarm. =(

so i like just wake up. hvn revise yet. 0.0

panic ?

cannot panic.

once panic, sure die.

i will work hard later.

* la di dum*

wat should i hv for breakfast?

that's too relac liao, man. oh well. shrug.

me: meeee, u know the cake is not bought?
mummy: huh? not bought? but there is a box leh.
*mummy walks over and showed me the cover of the box. she apparently cut the cover of the box for me to keep as memory. haha.*
me: yah. the box, candle, and the knife they bought it separately. They bought the cake themselves.
mummy: HUH ?! WHO ?!
me: xiaoguas.
mummy: WAH SEH. really ah. sooo smart larh..
me: hmm. yah.
mummy: who bake one? they learn from cooking lesson ah?
me: no larh. from recipe.
mummy: WAH SEH.. VERY GOOD. SO SMART.
me: nodsnods.

* 10 seconds later*

mummy: eh, u go and ask who bake one. Bring home and let me see.
me: -.-

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAA

Now, who baked that cake ?

hahahhahahhahhahaahahhahhahahahhahaa

p.s. my mom kidding only larh. she's a cute mom. that's y she has a cute daughter, like me.

hahahaha

thanks for all the wellwishes. spent half the day in school doing project. went out for a movie dinner date with red. watched miami vice. but i wasnt paying attention to the show. red say not very nice.

i've joined the league. no more teenager. sianz. all the baby talk i use to say. now cant liao. damn.

haha.

thanks again for the gifts. love them. thanks again for the wellwishes. it went into my heart.


me: i want to hear ! i want to hear !
me: heavy a not ? i help u carry..
me: aiyoh. so defensive. tsk tsk. not as if i want to steal it right?
me: alamak. okok. u carry it on ur left hand. i walk on ur right. can ?

夜风
微微的吹
无声无息

轻轻地
在脸颊上
舞过

风
带来了
不知名的
。。。
。。。。
平常心

少了， 喧闹。
多了，安静。
少了，起伏不定的神经。
多了，一分不知名的勇气。

风
无声
无形
无味

并不冷
也不寂寞

风
在无声之中
拉起了我的手

我怎么感觉
整个黑夜在震动
耳朵里
我听到了心跳的节奏

就是
风

proj meeting.

shadow outside the room jumping up and down.

fren 1: what's that?
fren 2: someone jumping up and down ?!
me: maybe cleaner lah

turn out that the 'cleaner's is my fren. haha. he jumped up to hide ice cream on the door ledge. and jumped again to 'surprise' me. but he didnt know that we can see his shadow from the room.

me: haha. i thought u're some cleaner, cleaning the door, larh.
'cleaner': u think i m a crazy bangla?!
me: haha. yah larh. can see, u know? this person jumping up and down outside. we thought it is some cleaner larh. where got sane person jump up and down outside a room?
'cleaner': phwar. thanks lor.

msn nick: i'm a crazy bangla who cleans windows.

HAHAHAHAHA.

in the blogging mood. cuz. not keen to do anything else. stone in front of computer screen.

read a fren's blog. happily, bounce-up-and-down kinda happy, attached. a bit like living in fantasy land liao. shrug. dont know. i m not a diehard romantic i guess.

oh well. who am i to comment. to each his own.

phone conversation with hoonie.

me: y cant they have like implants onto our wrists. put some chip into our wrist. so we can tell time without wearing watch. no need to put on and take off.
hoonie: my brother has it.
me: huh? implants leh?! implanted into the wrist.
hoonie: yah. my brother it alrdy. on his wrist.
me: huh? implant?! in his wrist?! so high tech?
me: hey.. really ah? u sure a not.
hoonie: yah. he has a watch in his wrist.
hoonie: the tanned outline of the watch on his wrist.
me: *silence for 5 seconds*
me: -.- WA LAU. DAMN DIAO LARH. SUPER COLD, CAN. WA LAU. #$%^
hoonie: HAHAHA.
hoonie: can hear you *breathe in* *breathe out* on the other side.
me: @#$%^

nvm. got karma one. HAHAHAHA. you really got me. wa lau. i so innocent. u still want to bluff me. u wait. u wait. earl says there is karma around. HAHAHAHA. nanny nanny boo boo. =)

how can u tell that ppl are stressed?

If their screensaver is " Relax.. the worth of a life is not determined by a single failure or a solitary success."

or, a post-it note on their desktop that says, "I will just perform to the best of my ability, to get the best scores I can get."

where is that egoistic bastard? I am good and I dont need you to tell me that. Cheers to the egoistic bastard, bro.

How can u tell whats the most desired item in the market?

When every contest, lucky draw starts offering it as their top prize.

smu is offering like ipod nanos for dunno how many contests alrdy.

HEE HA !

so many things to do. projects. tests. assignments. readings.

but strangely, there is a calmness to it all. Everything is like in slow motion.

心中其实有很多。。。。。。话要说。

但。。

有些，
已成为定局，
并不想听。

有些，
我不想说，
初志一番好意。

就这样。

不该说的，不说。

不该做的，不做。

本来，
在心中沉淀已久的思绪，
始终。。

留在心底。

沉淀着。

wooooo. his 7th album. =))))))

i think u guys should try to land ur hands on it. it's nice. a bit stale, cuz his style changed a bit. some songs i feel, just isnt in his league. jay chou trying to sing some swing? nah. cannot make it.

one song he sang with fei yu qing. that bldy gay. i dont like fei yu qing. i hate his high pitch voice and his posture when he sings. he sings like a sunflower facing the sun. nice metaphor? i think stupid lah. pose so well for what. so fake. then his voice so high pitch. like screeching chicken. i watched the mv on youtube. my fren says fei sings well, should sing the song by himself. but, i feel like twisting his head off. bloody screeching chicken.

wat was my purpose again? ... oh yah.. u guys should listen to jay's new album. *bounce around*. just skip the qian li zhi wai.

jay is cool. *drool*

there is no value in me writing that life is precious and we should all treasure it. it's one of those phrases that u hear too many times that it goes pass your ears in passing. no value.

life jumps at you sometimes.

still, life's life.

hoho. feeling happy.

sl contributed $1 to my Creative Zen Plus Fund. She increased it to $2 later. when i told her that i m using my lappie as mp3 player now. =))

red downloaded jay album and sent it to me. =)) he left his lappie through the night. =))))

=))))))))))

grieving. it's a process.

the world is complicated. =(

been sniffing for the past few days. nose blocked.

left nostril blocked. left nostril clears. right nostril blocked. right nostril clears. left .. ok. i think u get the idea. each interval is like 12 hours.

my left nostril just cleared. and my right nostril responded immediately. and it's blocked.

what efficiency.

you know what, i thought it was cold initially. and i was downing flu medicine. later, i realised it is that old sinus of mine. super sian. sinus which i cant do anything about. but after realization, i still took the flu med. i took one yesterday night.

at least, it makes me sleep. and not half awake, one arms reaching for tissue box, and the other wrapped about my bolster.

That's how bad it gets.

never before have i felt such an eagerness. such a urge. such a interest. a motivation. a pushing force.

perhaps, i had expereienced before. i forgot. maybe.

now, it comes. (again) and it feels good.

cant seem to log on to msn. time check 12 sept 11.04pm. anyone experiencing the same problems?

Anyway, regarding the previous post on wishlist, i am happy to receive anything that is unlisted. feel free to improvise. reminder, i have a weak heart. a hug will be nice.

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster.
~ Isaac Asmimov

i am damn bored right now. cuz, i've been studying the whole day. got take breaks lah. watch tv. take nap. read notes during my free time. since, no one jio me out. =( everyone is out saturday except me. =( why you nv jio me out? hur hur.

anyway, some ppl have been asking me what i want etc. ok lah. i create FAQ. =)

wishlist 2006.

1. creative zen v plus.
*drools* not sure yet. 1 gig enough for me a not? mostly likely, i will get this on my own. then i will treat it nicely. but where's the money coming from? sian. pls contribute to shumie's creative zen v plus Fund.

2. new wallet.
my wallet a gift from xiaoguas back in JC ( i'm sure the xiaoguas forgot they got that for me. haha) i use until now. ( you guys should be touched. i carry you guys around. see, i so nice. ok. i m damn bored). but i quite picky abt wallets. so perhaps, contribute to shumie's new wallet Fund.
or get me WalletShop voucher or sth.

3. Endless supply of milo.
Self-explanatory. Dont get me tins of milo lah. Sadistic leh. Get me satchets lah. So, i can drink in sch. and save 90cents.

4. new phone.
my current k700i is getting cranky. ppl complain that they receive multiple msgs from me. and i cant receive their replies. perhaps, a singtel voucher ?

5. Swatch skin
i like. but. got to see design. but dont know if i will wear it when i get it. hmm.

6. Pony sneakers.
in case anyone wants to get clothes for me. which i think not very common. my waist is 27. or medium. shirt size should be medium if not large. i've come to terms that i m simply not petite. so no Small for me. shoe size is like 7-8 ? not very sure too. depends on the cutting of the shoe. Did i give anything out? hmm.. waist. shirt. shoe. oh. bra. i am 3.... dont tell you.. hahaha. teaser.

7. accessories.
necklaces, earrings, bracelets, rings are all fine for me. =)

8. softoy.
Really cute and cuddly ones. i like the sunshine/heartshape bear. This light brown bear which has a pocket near his tummy. attached to the pocket is a picture of a sun/heartshape. but you seldom see that around liao. so dont know if its still selling.

9. flowers.
i like soft colors. pastel colors. champagne rose. that kind. one stalk will do. =) glad to receive this from anyone.

10. ornaments.
hmm. perhaps those arty desk ornaments. funky cool looking. got functional use. i dont need photoframes. i got no pictures on my tabletop now. so dont need photoframes.

11. shopping vouchers.
from anywhere. taka. borders. heeren. GV.

12. g string.
from previous karma. if i get it, i wont be surprised. karma mama.

13. Skype friendly laptop microphone.
get it from sim lim square. heard it is like $6. good deal.

14. funky laptop mouse.
frenz say my laptop mouse is super orbit.(my dad's actually. i borrow it. and nv return until now. it's officially mine) maybe get me a laser pointer mouse. lastest technology, so i can go show off.

brain block le.

15. bags.
no girl will complain that they have too many bags. more the merrier.

16. BRAINCELLS.

ok. yawnz. tired liao. if i got time tmr, ( sure got time. but dont know got motivation a not) , i will do my wishlist properly and remove those lame stuff. haha

but, byebye for now.

Been studying. I feel nerdy. but quite happy though. haha. that sounds weird. but, studying is better than working. and exams aint coming yet. so, i taking my time to read. nice.

me: eh, so which present you like better?
twin: hmmmm. the book.
me: huh. really ah.
twin: yah lor. it's a surprise.
me: hahaha yah lor. i cant draw. so, i did write lor.

yoohoo. glad you like the book. i like your choc cake too. heh heh. fancy receving a slice of cake when it's not your burpday. heh. =)

am supposed to be studying in school. but then, i am blogging. heh. it always happens.

relationships. are a strange thing. nah, i've nv tried to make myself understand it. It's one of the things that should nv be understood. Becuz, it cant. So, why try?

anyway, on the topic of relationships. a fren patch up with his gf. yay. glad for him. but, it seems a long ride ahead. he's was saying that they have difference outlook on life, different opinions on issues. and sometimes, it is difficult to accomodate to another person. When, you have out in ur efforts to understand and accomodate to your best of your ability, but it still isnt enough.

shrug.

you never know where the road leads you.

Another fren's bf is heading overseas for studies. got a scholarship. it's going to be 4 long yrs. relationship is tough enough. needless to say, long distance.

sian,

and another fren was telling me she doesnt know where the relationship will lead her. being in a stable relationship for quite some time now, she's thinking how the future would be if she is to settle down with her present bf.

All the uncertainities and insecurities.

It's perfectly normal. And, that's a paradox.

Super sian.

I guess, if really what's meant to be is to be, then nothing really matters.

If gf is to be the future wife of my fren, it wouldnt matter if they have different outlook in life. They will work through their differences.

If bf is to be the future husband of my fren, it wouldnt matter if he went for overseas studies. They will wait for each other.

If bf is to the future husband of my fren, my fren doesnt need to worry about settling down.

Everything is meant to be.

But, that's like .... leaving things up to fate.

Say, if he doesnt go for overseas studies, they will not have to experience long distance r.s, and they would eventually be together?

Say, if they dont try to work out their differences, they would get to know other ppl, and perhaps achieve a happier ending in their lives?

Super super sian.

There's no way of telling the future.

I think this post is nonsenical. I am basically through my thoughts.

shrug.

fell sick. no significant symptoms. which sucks. cuz i dont know what to tell the doctor if i go. stomach feels queasy. intestines feels tangled up. it made me miss a impt class of the day. =(

went to doc alrdy. he says its stomach virus.

doc: eat plain. no oily food. no milk.
me: no dairy products? (what about my milo?)
doc: yah. no diary products.
me: (shit larh. no milo liao.)

***

red: you go sch, make the toilets smelly only. not good.
me: wa lau. say this kinda thing. -.-

red is nice to me. hoho.

Aiyah. there's this group assignment we are supposed to do. And, as you know, someone needs to do compilation ( which is absolutely tedious and very sai kang-ish) to see that everything flows.

For this mod, there's 3 assignments. And, there's like 4 grp members.

First, i opened the floor to my frenz and suggested that we take turns doing compilation. so we would not rely on that one person to keep doing compilation.

Nobody took it up.

So, i volunteered. and i reasoned by saying, that I do now, so next time i dont have to do. Next time, would be their turns.

Then, a minute later, this hand shot up into the air. Y wants to compile.

Now, I have absolutely nothing against Y. But, i do know that she has a busy week. And, it striked me as strange that she wants to the compilation now.

A thought flashed by, becuz she wants time to study in next coming busy weeks. So, she want to take projects over and done with.

Again, I am absolutely fine with that.

The problem is, If u promise/ volunteer to do something well, U bloody ( i am not going to mince my words here) make sure you do a good job.

What happened was, she went out the compiled report. We, the other 3 group members, read it. And, EDITED THE REPORT AT THE SAME TIME.

Needless to say, I shook my head when I saw the report she sent.

And so, I did my edited version, and merged the other 2 edited version together. and sent it out.

Now,

Pls tell me compiled the report for this time .

No work ethics one. You want to do things, do properly. You do liao, ppl still have to help you sweep shit. So selfish; self-interest against group interest.

The happy moments are dreadfully simple.

There's this one moment. We were walking that stretch of road. It was dark. People line the streets. A few couples lingering on into the night.

The cold wind was blowing. The night is dark; illuminated by sparingly few street nights. There's no music playing at the background. Just playful silence.

"I want to sit down"
"Sit where?"
"Dont know. I want to sit down."

A sly smile appeared. A sneaky, sly smile that came from within. I realised i was smiling at nothing.

A few trees.
A few streetlamps.
Some partygoers.

But, I am smiling. Like an idiot.

It's the company that I am smiling at. To be able to share this night with someone.

And, it reminded me of another scene. in a different scenerio.

"what are u smiling at?"
"hmm? I am smiling meh?"
"yah. u r smiling. small smile. at the corners of your mouth."
"hmm. i guess, i am honored to share this night with you."
"huh. haha. orh."

what an accurate answer. I didnt know it held so much truths.

what more can i say?

this post is touchy-feel-ly. maybe you can connect with me.

There are people whom you feel a connection to.
To speak right from your mind,
and not worry that they will doubt your intentions.
of cuz, to be honestly blunt with someone,
you need time.
And, a lot of connection.

Some understand exactly what you are going through.
Your thoughts are a reminder of who they are.

Some teach you whatever you need to know.

Some allow you to be silly like a child.

Some share their innermost, darkest, evil thoughts with you.
and your heartache for them.

Some is going through what you have went through,
and your heart simply goes out to them.

Some has the ability to make you smile.

Some has such ability to interpret your actions/ thoughts more than you can ever understand yourself.

I have met these people. And my heart aches for them all and the same.

Today, I saw one of these "connections". I stuck my head out the room and waved like mad. I put down my lappie instanteously. I ran out, yelled and stop him in his tracks. A few pleasantries. A bright, bright smile on my face. I am happy to see him. Like a sunny, sunny day. It's a hippy hop kinda happy. And from the smile from his face, he is happy to see me too. =)

And, this connection is to be interrupted by someone else. Alamak. *slaps forehead*

But, I'm sure when we meet again, the things would be the same as they were before.

Just like before.