simplicity

been busy lately. with school. running late for projs. and quizzes.

nonsensical. nevertheless, envious.

mighty mouse is conflicting.

workload. deadly.
sleep. overdose.
joy. diminishing.
faith. stagnant.

have the tendency to do the inappropriate things at the inappropriate moments. darn.

some days, u wonder if you are own friend.

lau pok until slam onto the floor also wont heart pain.

nokia 2100. i think.

and if u know which one. monotone. sms and call. no colors. no color. no gprs. mp3.no camera. no notes or tasks.

left button for menu
right button for names

lau pok pok. lau kok kok. lau pok kok.

is me !

i know why ppl say i auntie. cuz, i m a low techy freak. i dont care how advanced technology is. i jsut grab anything within my reach and use.

update: my super orbit mouse has been replaced. now smaller, smoother, slinkier, more sexy. got red light below the mouse. no more roller !

open ur arms.

embrace

the light

at the end of the tunnel.

soon, sands turn to dust.

winds rage the seas.

the cycle will repeat itself.

till, then..

but i dont ever, or will ever, understand how she gets the time to do what she does.

amazing

applaud

sms which tickled me in class.

"U want me to call SCD and tell them to investigate or conduct a lecture to teach us on righteous?!"

the prof looked at me. =(

we're in it all this while. day by day, seconds past and the present is built.

we are in it. but, we dont keep count. time does.

the time when we take a step back and recollect the periods, we are once nicely surprised again.

happy 6th month, red.

count
the moments spent
together
and not the moments
apart

too mushy liao. i cant stand it. ok. byebye. happy 6th month, fishie.

time flies.

one more day.

***

did a training workshop for a secondary school. it's part of their post-exam activities. we went and did some behaviorial profiling for them.

the moment i stepped into the school. i was shocked. it looked like my pri school. the layout was exactly the same. exactly. exactly the same. brings back the memories of hopscotch and zero-point. were all 1980's school constructed by the same blue print or sth ?

the students were bengs and lians. somehow, i can connect with them. inattentive, rowdy, fidgety, and a talent for vulgarities. the girls stick to themselves, and the guys are together. separated by gender. but, they show interest for the opposite gender by consistent teasing, throwing of pens are each other to get attention.

there's this boy, chao ah beng in the making. his shorts were so low, i bet it will drop if he jumps. really. so damn low. low until half butt exposed. lol. he damn chao beng. kowtow. sounds like one character from my very sec 2 class. =) acting cool and suave. it worked on the girls. heh heh

there is this "kiam cai" boy. he folds his papers into small squares. it looks like kiam cai.

"hey, why u fold the paper until like that?"
*blurs* "huhhhh... you ask me to keep the paper rite?"
-.-"

he is also super kan jong. and fidgety. he will keep asking what each paper is for. and he will fold it into small squares. haha.. he got this stressed blur look on him.

the girls. haha. got this ah lian group. trying to get attention from the boys. they were playing truth and dare and their dare was to go to the ah beng group and say sth, or slap them. standing beside them, i was like... " no no... cannot.. dont play violent.. sit down.. no no. what you doing? sit down. sit. you slap him, he will slap you back. no sit down. ok fine. go slap. dont care liao. go lah. go. i tell teacher."

"hoy. i saw that. y u throw things at him? I SAY DONT THROW ALRDY !!!!"
"CHER ! she throw at me first!"
"I SAY DONT THROW ALRDY! ok. u dont throw. i ask them not to throw"
"wey, u girls dont throw ok?"
"CHER ! the guys throw at us first !"
=.=

tmd. want to kill each other rite? i buy knives. grrr.. bite you then you know.

Overall, it's nice to see the kids. oh oh !! i heard there's a ah lian fight at break. dammit. i missed it. sigh. i heard, punches and all. plus, 10 ppl on each side. HOO HA ! missed it.

yah. overall it is nice to see the kids. cuz it kinda made me realised i was like them once. once upon a time.

when i thought the world is in my hands; good guys dont die, and bad guys always get killed. it was a time when the world is still pretty. it is deadfully wrong to be seen talking to a guy cuz they got virus. a guy whom you talk more than 5 sentences to is your rumored boyfriend.

ahh.. the good times.


oh oh.. there's this malay boy.

"cher. give you back ur paper"
it's heart-shaped.
0.0
"FOR ME ?! HEART SHAPED LEH !"
"huh. alamak. give u paper back only LARH."
"wa lau. chey. i thot u gimme heart. pui."
"cher. you... win..."

lol.

la la la

woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

*bounce bounce *

*shakes butt*

la la la

2 more days !

2 more days !

TWO MORE DAYS !

u know what's happening the day after tomorrow ? ( no pun intended)

i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know.

* bounce bounce*

but

i'm not going to tell u !

la la la

i've surrounded myself with ppl whom i love. the ppl in sch. are ppl i love.

i've lost touch with reality.

xiaodi showed me a blog. and it is insane. insane not as losing the mind, but, insane as in not human anymore. a stage of kee siao.

relac la.

gpa 4.0 big meh ?

got cca then zai ah?

establish relations with ppl in school ? there are many ways of doing that. easier if u r a girl.

i've lost touch with reality.

it's a culture that i am not willing to accept.

they cant bear the face in the mirror in years to come.

disclaimer: this post is NOT to speculate or dis-speculate matters. it is not representative of the owner of this blog.

a splat happened recently. it's a splat and not a quarrel cuz it's one-sided. the other side couldn't care enough to retaliate. i mean, huh. fine. u said what u wanted. and so? it doesnt move things. it just ended it. gave a proper ending.

there's a whole book of arguments that we can use here. the pros. the cons. the considerations. the sacrifices. past memories sewn into the book. future makings blown into the air. but i dont think there is a need to go into that.

ultimately, the truth is before you point your little finger at others. do look at yourself in the mirror.

how u treat others is how they would treat you in return.

it's a simple simple rule. all of us know it. many of us think we practice it. only a few truely do it.

***

smu ppl are fakos.

the talk is fake. the walk is fake. the speech is fake. the laughter is fake.

u can tell if ppl are meaning what they say, becuz they say it with their heart and not their mouth.

come to smu. i will show you.

Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again.

-Only hope

isdf in the midst of thundering projects and roaring assignments, the storm is almost here.
and yet, the skies will be clear soon. a few more weeks to go.
how time flies.

caught in the midst of everything. again.
asking the meaning of things. again.
holding on the old values.
in search of the glow at the end of tunnel.

seekers of the light.
creatures of the night.

the race.
the pulse.
the squeak.
the urge.

the cheese?


***

Quote
"it doesnt matter anymore. it used to matter. now, it dont"
"huh.. y? it's impt, isnt it?"
" it is. thats y it matter then. but not now"
"so how do u define whether it matters a not? then and now?"
"u internally evaluate. at each step of the way"


"then, nothing will ever matter. because you are slowly justifying for urself that things will not matter in the future. so you might as well not care abt it now. you are going to give it up anway, why care now? it will flow away with time anyway."

"yah. thats what i mean."

" that's scary"

"huh. y?"

" because that's indifference. there is nothing scarier than indifference. you are not feeling anything. you're like dead. you dont like it or dislike it. you are indifferent. whether it happens a not, it doesnt matter, cuz you couldnt be bothered with it. that's indifference. and its scary"

*thinks*

"i'll think abt it"

a conversation from long ago. it was on the bus. strange that i remember it. and to recall it now. strange. perhaps, there's a meaning. i miss the talks. nothing fascinates me more than the ability of man to feel. he feels, thinks and writes. that's what fascinates. but perhaps, the realm means isolation too. of complication, of unexplored terrorities that people rather not explore into. of feelings, emotions, and thoughts.

in tribute

all these years
of search
for the mirror
that reflects
my soul

walked the mountains,
braved the seas.

never have
i
found the missing me.

you are there
all the while
within my realm of sight

why have i not seen?

poo is silly

It doesn't matter how sharp your tongue is or how strong your arms are.
Sometimes, you are just not safe.
No matter what.
No matter.

Because people get in. They make their way, across your moat and over your barbed wire. Passed your armor. They make their way.
No matter how hard you try to keep them out.
No matter.

That's what a broken heart does to you. You sing a song in the wrong key. And then you sing it in the wrong key, again.
That's the difference.
It's not just once.
You pattern.
No matter.

-Lonely Roads and Psychopaths

starting to panic. date started is 11 oct. i think i will panic all the way to the end. shucks.

pms is fading away. but my menses is yet to come. it has disappeared. again. sianz.

this week is terrible. i am frustrated at everything. school is worse for me. i am back in school everyday. read: not almost everyday, but everyday. frustration, blurness and anger is most likely due to bouts of pms. friends in school are real chums. real understanding and all. thank goodness. i just want to hide my hole but i've got no choice but to head to school for projects. lucky they are understanding.

i want to be stardust. there are other problems much bigger than mine. and if i am stardust, everything wouldnt matter. cuz i m so minute.

projs are stuck in the mud. tests are returning back. profs are not anal.

i am just as anal.

Will you still love me in the morning?

-click

"he says he's going to jump into the sea"
"the sea has no lid"
"go ahead"

the script of a really bad written drama serial.

pride, ladies, pride. how has it gone to?

other girls experience tummyaches usually at that time of the month. for me, i get absolutely blur and forgetful.

i want to bite myself.

i think i lost my banking card.

super pissed off. and if my menses dont come, i will just jump. tmd. so blur alrdy. still dont come. grr...

started out as a nice day, and it started going downhill from there. i m grumpy.

old nanny grump.

ROAR.

this is the period of time where there are no obligations. you are to do what you want. when u want. how u want it. and so, what would YOU do?

this period also happens to the time for moodswings. urgh. everything is stepping on my tail. from the morning till now. and i cant point out exactly what. i am just edgy. edgy spider.

a lot of things to do. and the exact same amount of resistance. law of physics or sth. cant remember.

i want to grumble. i want to whine. i want to complain.

but about what?

why cant there be something for me to grumble about, huh huh huh ?! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

hmph.

logout.

this is the problem if u look at too much company's annual reports. U have the divisonal/ segment figures, and the consolidated ones. This post is a consolidated thoughts post, which means it is a bundled up mess.

received a sms a few years ago from yep. to celebrate birthday for one of us. decide to give it a miss. many many things aint the same as before. and i feel that there is no way they can be the same. and it is dumb for me to put myself through waters that are unfamiliar to me. so, i decide to give it a pass. actually, nothing is the same. everything changed. yah. everything. and so, i will sent my wellwishes over, and on the day itself, i will wish her another time. =)

I felt appreciated when ** asked if i was going. And, i asked him in return if *** is going. He said NOPE. it is way back in history, and ask me to forget all abt it. It felt good hearing that. although, i've never forgotten. as i mentioned, everything is different now, including ** and me. some things, you just cant keep.

That aside, the haze is simply killing me. it's really bad. and i have difficulties breathing. my sinus is back. nose throat feels itchy and dry. sucks big time. i've gotten real fat and chubby these few days. i feel absolutely fat. but i am still holed up in my room.

went out with red today. ive not seen him for long long time. like got 2 weeks. hmmmm.. still the same. now more ........... eh..used to it .. i think.

damn full. the cheesy wedges are still as nice. slurp.

Whose line is it anyway? with richard simmons




How can u forgot Captain Hair?



I absolutely lurve colin !

Colin and Ryan, they are absolutely WOOOOTz !

"I am a zizzer zazzer zuzz as you can plainly see"

-Dr. Seuss quotes

feeling like a absolute dumbass. freaking blur. i am amazed at how blur i can be. this time win alrdy. hit jackpot liao. f lah. y i so blur. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i promise, i will offer treats if i do get it to whom i've talked to today. chances are like 0.0000000001 %.

for the sake of my reputation ( fine! i have none ! PRIDE ok? pride ! ) i shall not reveal it.

inexcusable.

It's not whether i get it a not. but how can such thing happen. and the haunting thing was that i was reminding myself to NOT do exactly that !!!!!

Rights are downplayed. And mistakens heightened millions of times. That's how it goes.




Class to reach full enrollment status before class starts officially. pls pay registration fee at the counter. thanks.