simplicity

“i want the world in my hands”

” u want me in ur hands? then crash me? then kill me?”

“no. i want to see the world through your eyes.”

“…”

“That is all. That is all. That is all i ever want to do.”

Slowly. Slowly. We can never see too far ahead. And, for a reason, we shouldnt. No one knows what the future hold. If u are to see to the future to determine your present, u may have an entire different future altogether. i.e. dont act smart. go with the flow. see where it brings you to. it may bring you to the green mountains or the stormy waters. you will nv know. you can never tell. go with the flow. and see where it brings you.

if u end up in the stormy waters, you will be first brought to green mountains.

if u end up in the green mountains, you will first have to swim through stormy waters.

you know what i mean. i dont have to explain.

p.s."I guarantee that we'll have tough times. I guarantee that at some point one or both of us will want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart -- you're the only one for me"

A relationship isnt something you can say u are sure of. Becuz, u simply cant. To say so, is to delude yourself. and your partner.

Exchange. do i really want to go.

i feel bored. partly, no satisfaction from work. partly, no activity in my life.

i am not as happening as you think lah. gimme a call one of these days and u will realise that i am home most of the time.

holidays should not be like this. holidays should be fun and exciting.

i want to do things. i want to go somewhere.

the thing is. what. and. where.

ok. i think i will bake cookies tmr. yeay !

due to limited budget constraints. shopping trips are only limited to window shopping. =) quite sian to be reading books. books are good. but its kinda placed on the relativity scale. when i study, i long for the time to read. when i free, i want to play more than read. hm.

i want to spend more time with u !!!

ask me out man. =) quick quick quick. while stocks last.

anyway, tmr will be making walnut and choc cookies. interested parties ( courageous and brave to try my baking skills =) ) contact me.

if mom allow. i may bake walnut cake too.

weee. i love walnuts.

The female race.

i have troubles understanding the female race. even though i am one of them or us.

females nv really do mean what they say when it comes to making decisions. like where to eat and such. a particular fren of mine says she is fine with anything but actually she has a rough idea of what she wants. Perhaps, it is the willingness to accomodate another person that causes one's voice to be soft, to be less heard ? shrug.

Females will streak at the sight of animals 100 (?) times smaller than them. In actual fact, the poor creatures gets a psychotic attack at the the female screams. poor things. if u r wondering if it is true, i tell you, it is.

i realised i am digressing. my real purpose is not to mention how females dont mean what they say, or how females react to black winged creatures. hey. this is another trait of the female race. We tend to overtalk. we talk to avoid, i guess. some things are harder to mention than the rest.

an object has been in my cupboard for quite some time. Memento sake. Memories sake. I have been wanting to put it away for quite some time alrdy. everytime i open the cupboard, i would tell myself to part it for good.

a few days ago, i decided to springclean my room. it is badly needed. i forgot the color of my tabletop.

and so, i cleared out my table, my cupboard. and i saw the object lying there. peacefully. in its paperbag.

lying there peacefully. quietly. Perhaps, hoping that i didnt see it at all.

i took it out. from the cupboard. peered into it.

nothing but a few pieces of memories.

I took it out. and placed it on the floor next to my table.

"ok, later when i go out. i will bring it out."

I went out later in the afternoon. and. honestly forgot abt the paper bag to bring out. honestly. forgot.

And there it laid. Peacefully. Quietly. On the floor. Beside my table.

a few days later i saw the package again.

lying there. Peacefully. Quietly.

Silently. Pleading with me.

I took it up. peered into it.

Nothing but a few pieces of memories. Nothing that ever mattered.

As I slowly put it back on the floor, my body swung. Suddenly.

With my other free hand, I opened the cupboard door.

In one hurried action, i placed the package back into its position.

Inside the cupboard. Where it used to belong.

Rapidly closed the cupboard door. Stride out to the living room.

"one day. one day. it will be put away."

One day.

When ?

Now, will you please kindly explain this to me.

No. Perhaps, you dont have to explain. Perhaps, i know it inside me all this while. Perhaps, all this prove another side of the female race.

Right or wrong; To put away or to keep; is ..........

My world is spinning.

No. perhaps i wasnt interested in why. afterall.

goodbye.

it is seriously torturous. to. hear. one. song.YES.just. ONE. song. from 9-5.30pm.

one song. one song. one song. one song. one song. one song.

does that look irritating to you?

imagine the suffering my ears went. one song. 9-5.30pm.

the worse thing is, i wonder if i am the only one hearing it. there are no complains from the others. are they deaf or they got no ears?

it's in the office. the pantry. the toilet. the lobby. the lift. the walkway. the corridor. the canteen.

EVERYWHERE.

i finally couldnt stand it anymore and went to Pandora and listened to Buble.

p.s. my colleague. who sits like 3, 4 seats behind me. Her favorite song is David Powter's I have a bad day.

urgh.

就算是整个世界把我抛弃
而至少快乐伤心我自己决定
所以我说就让他去我知道潮落之后一定有潮起
有什么了不起

你是空气但是好闻胜过了空气
你是阳光但是却能照进半夜里
水能载舟也能煮粥喂饱了生命

如果你快乐不是为我
会不会放手其实才是拥有

如果你爱过我
你不会就这样走
就这样丢下我
和那些天真承诺
如果我再也不
不能再更多的承受
痛哭之后却又咬紧牙关

due to the my office environment, i cant verbally express my feelings in the workplace.

imagine all the speech bubbles above my head. i bet it looks sth like this.

$%&^$^%#$#$#@*&^)*()*)%^^%#$%@#@

Translation:

are u sure u want to know ? i think i better not write.

as many of u know me, i am the kind " dare-to-see, dare-to-do" type. adventurous. playful. a bit on the gung-ho side. "Let's go!". "Let's do it". "Who say cannot? Do larh. Show them."

I was talking to parents about exchange. Exchange is really a choice. It's not compulsory.

I want to go. I want to see and learn new things. It will be fun. Adventure. And, i will learn more.

As in, i will live with myself. Foreign country. New friends. New surroundings. Out of my comfort zone. I like to step out of my comfort zone. I learn more. And, a lot more.

mom was mentioning the things to bring. rice cooker. soup bases. ikan billis. soap powder. and suddenly, all those that i've taken forgranted came into mind.

Family. Meals warmed for me. Clothes washed, dried, ironed for me. Room tidied for me. Scoldings for me. Naggings for me. 3 pairs of eyes on me.

Friends. Much laughter. much company. much joy. much gossips.

Red. Many understandings. Many unspoken. Some said. Much tenderness. So little time.

I dont want to leave. Dont take me away.

i did a post during the new year period. 43things. it is a website where u list down the things u want to get done. Something like new year's resolutions. and. u find similar ppl who want to do the same things as you. u get encouragement. and advice.

well. i checked upon my list of 39 things. and i happily ticked like 6 off. =) some are life-long goals. like travel the world. wake up when my alarm clock goes off. these things cant be rushed. heh heh.

take a look at my 43things homepage. perhaps u would be inspired to set up a list for urself. most imptly, check back regularly. and get things done ! =)

oh, do take a look at the homepage. if u can offer help in any of my 36things, LET ME KNOW !! *hugs and kisses given in advance*


my 36 things.

The problem with being a libra is that .. every blog test u do. always turn out to be. in moderation. Always. 50-50.

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium. In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is medium. You probably have had a couple significant loves. And you may have even had your heart broken. But you haven't really dated a wide variety of people. Dominance: Your dominance is low. This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced. You know a relationship is not about getting your way. And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is medium. You'd like to believe in true and everlasting love... But you've definitely been burned enough to know better. You're still an optimist, but you also are a realist. Independence: Your independence is medium. In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time." You usually find it easy to be part of a couple. But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered.

Say Hi to Specky !

p.s. as u can see, my table is in quite a mess. heh heh.  

We are all Drifters in this wide ocean called Life.

We join organisations, institutions, bodies, groups, partnerships, clubs, societies, whether we like it or not, so we will stop drifting. and have an identity.

These organisations gives us an identity ? We are nothing by ourselves?

More often, these organisations have a time life. there is a graduation.

It is after this "graduation" that we find if we really belong.

Meetings without a purpose. no motivation.

Just enjoying the company of those around.

It is this unobligated means of staying in touch thats lasts for a considerable period. There are no motives, no objectives, no need.

You do what you do. Simply because, you love what you are doing.

And, this takes 2 hands or more. to clap.